Funny Texts To Send Him That Will Make Him Laugh Out Loud

Some days you want to send him something sweet. Other days you want to text him that your toaster is going through a breakup and watch him try to respond. This list is for those days.

Funny texts do something romantic texts cannot. They interrupt his normal, boring afternoon and make him grin at his phone in the middle of it. And the best part is that being the girl who makes him laugh is a whole personality trait he will brag about to his friends.

Every text below is short enough to copy and send in seconds. Some are random, some are chaotic on purpose, some are flirty with a joke hiding inside. Mix them up so he never knows which version of you is texting him today.

If you want to balance the silliness with something soft afterward, keep these texts to make him smile and these flirty couple texts saved too.

Table of Contents

Funny Texts to Send Him Out of Nowhere

Random texts hit hardest when he least expects them, so send these on a completely normal Tuesday.

Quick question. If we were both raccoons, would you still choose me or would you get distracted by a shinier trash can.

I just saw a dog wearing shoes and I need you to know that my whole day is made.
Thinking about you. Also thinking about nachos. You are winning but barely.
Reminder that I liked you before I knew you snored like a broken lawnmower.

I told my mom you are responsible. Please act accordingly.

You crossed my mind today. It was a short trip but a pleasant one.
Breaking news. Local girlfriend misses her boyfriend. More at 6.

I would fight a goose for you. Not a swan though. I have limits.

Just checked and yes, you are still my favorite person I have ever argued with about pizza toppings.
Do you ever think about how lucky you are. Because I have a list prepared.

I was going to send you something romantic but then I remembered you laughed at me when I fell up the stairs.
Your side of the bed misses you. I know because I am lying on it eating chips.
Petition to skip work and become professional nappers together. I need one signature.

I miss you like my phone misses being at 100 percent. So basically always.
Not to be dramatic but if you do not text me back in 5 minutes I am telling everyone the story about you and the shopping cart.
You are the reason my screen time report is embarrassing.

I just laughed out loud remembering something dumb you said three weeks ago. This is your legacy.
Hey. No reason. Just wanted to be a notification on your phone.
Today I choose violence. Just kidding. Today I choose you. Same energy honestly.

Somebody at work has your laugh and I almost said hi babe out loud. Send help.
I would share my fries with you. Please understand the weight of that statement.
Are you a parking ticket. Because you have fine written all over you and also you show up when I least want to deal with my feelings.

Just so you know, I have already planned our weekend and your opinion was considered for zero seconds.
My horoscope said I would meet someone annoying and charming. Anyway how is your day going.
You are my favorite hobby. Cheaper than my other ones too.

I saw your face in my memories today. My phone is a menace and I love it.
If being cute was illegal you would get a warning. I would get life. But you would get a warning.
Sending this text so you remember someone out here thinks about you at random hours for no reason.

I bragged about you today. Keep being braggable.

Funny Good Morning Texts for Him

Skip the basic good morning and open his eyes with a laugh instead.

Good morning. I have decided we are having a good day. This is not up for discussion.
Rise and shine. Mostly rise. The shine is optional until coffee.

Good morning to the man who fell asleep mid sentence last night. I finished the story for you. You loved it.
Waking up is a scam but texting you first thing makes it slightly less illegal.
Morning. I dreamed you bought me a puppy so technically you owe me a puppy.

Good morning handsome. Yes I checked. Still handsome. Carry on.
The sun is up and so am I, against my will. You may now be blessed by my presence in your messages.
Good morning. Please confirm you are alive and still obsessed with me.

I woke up thinking about you. Also pancakes. It was a good morning in my head.
Reminder that you have to deal with me today. Hydrate accordingly.
Morning babe. My hair looks insane and I need you to tell me it looks intentional.

Good morning to you and only you. Everyone else has to earn it.
Consider this text your alarm. The snooze button is a phone call from me singing.
Fun fact. You are the first thought I had today. Second was whether we have bread.

Good morning. Today’s forecast is 100 percent chance of me texting you too much.
I hope your pillow was cold on both sides and your coffee is strong. I take my role as your good luck charm seriously.
Wake up. The world needs you. Mostly I need you. The world can wait.

Good morning from your favorite person. I did not run a poll but I am confident.
Every morning I get to choose my attitude and every morning I choose menace with a soft spot for you.
Rise and grind babe. And by grind I mean text me between every single task.

Morning check in. On a scale of 1 to 10 how much are you missing me. Wrong answers will be appealed.
Good morning. I am about to be productive and dangerous. Mostly productive. Slightly dangerous.
Your daily reminder that someone woke up and immediately thought your face is nice. It was me. I am someone.

Good morning sleepyhead. I already miss annoying you in person.
I made coffee and thought of you because it is also warm and keeps me functioning.
Good morning. Quick reminder that I am funny, cute, and yours. What a lineup.

New day, same me texting you before my brain fully loads.

Chaotic Texts to Confuse Your Boyfriend

These make no sense on purpose, and his confused reply will be the best part of your day.

Hold on, my fish is barking again.
Sorry for the late reply. My toilet asked to go on a walk.
I cannot talk right now. My houseplant is telling me about her day and it is a lot.
My ceiling fan and I are in a fight. I will explain later. Or never.

Quick question. Do you think my shadow likes me or is it just following me to be polite.
The microwave beeped at me in a tone I did not appreciate.
Update. The spider in my bathroom has a name now. We are past the point of killing him. His name is Gerald.

I just did a dramatic hair flip alone in my kitchen. The audience of zero went wild.
Do not text me for the next hour. My left sock went missing and this is now an investigation.
I accidentally made eye contact with a pigeon and now I feel like I owe him something.

Babe I think our future kids are already embarrassed by us and they do not even exist yet.
Just letting you know I have started narrating my life in a documentary voice and I cannot stop.
What time is it in your heart right now.
Important. If I were a soup, what soup would I be. Think carefully. Our relationship depends on this.

My fridge is humming. Not like machine humming. Like it knows a song I do not.
I would text you back but my blanket has accepted me as one of its own and I cannot risk losing their trust.
Please respond with one word to describe me. If it is not majestic we need to talk.

Breaking. Girl opens fridge for the fourth time expecting new food to appear. Scientists baffled.
I have decided I am the CEO of this relationship. You are head of snacks. Congratulations on the promotion.
Just walked into a room and forgot why. Now I live here I guess.

Reminder that if we ever rob a bank you are the getaway driver because I would stop for snacks.
My hoodie smells like you and now it is legally mine. This message is the paperwork.
I am not saying I am a superhero. I am just saying you have never seen me and a raccoon in the same room.

Tell your hoodie I said hi and that I am coming for it this weekend.
I just yawned so hard I saw my ancestors. They said hi.
Alert. I have entered my villain era. It starts after this nap.

Do you ever look at the moon and think wow, my girlfriend is so weird. Because the moon and I talk and she mentioned you.
New rule. Every time you leave me on read I get one bite of your food next time we eat. Choose wisely.

Funny Flirty Texts for Him

Half joke, half flirt, fully guaranteed to make him read it twice.

I like you more than I like sleeping in, and I need you to understand how serious that is.
You are so cute it is honestly rude. Apologize.
I was going to play hard to get but I forgot and texted you first. Again.

On paper you are not even my type. In person you are unfortunately perfect.
Thinking about your smile. Now thinking about kissing it. This message was brought to you by my terrible impulse control.
You owe me a hug. Interest is compounding. It is now a hug and a kiss.

Are you tired. Because you have been running through my mind all day and honestly the pace is impressive.
I would say stop being so attractive but I do not actually want you to.
Warning. The next time I see you I am holding your hand and never explaining myself.

You are my favorite distraction and my grades slash job slash sanity would like a word.
I like your face. That is it. That is the text.
Just remembered how good you smell and lost my train of thought for a full minute.

Can you stop looking like that in every photo. I am trying to function.
Roses are red, I suck at these, just come over here and cuddle with me please.
You plus me plus a blanket plus a movie neither of us will finish. This is a formal invitation.

I am not flirting with you. I am just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive.
Hot take. Your arms. That is the take.
My love language is annoying you and then kissing you as an apology.
How dare you be this cute on a weekday. Save something for the weekend.

If you were here right now we would not be texting. Read into that as much as possible.
I need you to know your voice on the phone last night did something to my brain chemistry.
You are the reason I check my phone like it is a part time job.

Come here. I have a surprise. The surprise is me. I am the surprise.
Being your girlfriend is my favorite flex and I use it constantly.
Just saw a guy at the store almost as cute as you. Almost. Do not worry. He did not make the podium.

I would text you good night but I am not done thinking about you yet.
Netflix asked if I was still watching and honestly no, I was thinking about you.

Funny Replies When He Texts Dry

For when he replies with one word and you decide to make it everyone’s problem.

Wow. A whole letter K. For me. I will treasure it forever.
Your text was so dry my phone asked for water.
Did your keyboard run out of letters or is this a personal choice.

I am framing this reply. It will hang in the museum of minimal effort.
Sir this is a relationship, not a business email. Try again with feeling.
Reading your reply gave me a paper cut. That is how dry it was.

I sent you a paragraph and got back a vowel. The math is not mathing.
Should I call the vet. Because these replies are looking a little lifeless.
Blink twice if someone stole your phone and personality.
I have seen cereal boxes with more to say.
You reply like you get charged per word. Babe, texting is free.

I am carrying this conversation like a mother of four carries groceries. In one trip. Alone.
Your energy today could preserve fruit.
Noted. I will be entertaining myself and you will hear about all of it later in extreme detail.
One more dry text and I am replying with a full weather report every hour.

That reply had the enthusiasm of a Monday morning meeting.
Hello. I would like to speak to the fun version of you. Is he available.
I know you are busy but a girl needs more than lol to survive out here.

Interesting response. Anyway, back to me.
I asked about your day and you gave me a yes or no answer. My day was great by the way. Thanks for asking. Oh wait.
Texting you today feels like watering a plastic plant.
Fine. Short replies it is. K. Cool. Nice. See, I can be boring too. It physically hurts but I can.
I am not saying you text like my grandpa but he also sends one word and then calls it a conversation.

New game. Every dry text costs you one compliment in person. You currently owe me seven.
You used to write me sentences. Whole sentences. With verbs. I remember it like it was yesterday.
My last message deserved a better reply and honestly so did I.

I love how mysterious you are over text. Now stop it.

Funny Late Night Texts for Him

For the hours when your brain gets weird and he deserves to know about it.

It is 1 am and I just remembered you exist. Devastating for my sleep schedule.
Are you awake. Blink once for yes. Wait, wrong app. Text back.
I cannot sleep and it is legally your fault because I miss you.

Good night. If you dream about anyone else we are fighting in the morning.
My brain at 2 am wants to review every conversation we have ever had. Currently on the one where you called a croissant a crescent.
Sleep well babe. I have already claimed the good dream slot. You get the one about being late for something.

I am in bed thinking about you. Also about whether sharks have friends. It is a busy night up here.
You are probably asleep but I need you to know I would absolutely survive a horror movie and you would not. Good night.
Reminder before you sleep. I like you an embarrassing amount.

It is midnight and I just laughed alone in the dark at your text from noon. This is your power.
Currently starfished across the whole bed in your honor.
If you are awake, hi. If you are asleep, wake up, I am bored.
Good night to the only person allowed to see my sleep paralysis demon eventually. That is romance.

I was going to sleep an hour ago but my brain wanted to plan our entire future instead. You are welcome.
Sweet dreams. May your pillow be cold and your dreams be at least 60 percent about me.
3 am thought. You would be terrible in a zombie apocalypse but I would keep you anyway.

I miss you at a volume that is not appropriate for this hour.
Just checked and yes, your good night text is the last thing I want to see before I sleep. No pressure. Some pressure.
Tonight in my head we were at the beach. You got sunburned. Even my imagination knows you.
Can you come collect your girlfriend. She is sleepy and refusing to put her phone down.
Good night babe. Try not to miss me too much. Fail immediately.
Fun fact. I sleep better after we talk. Annoying fact. You are asleep already.
The moon is out and it reminded me of you because it is also pretty and far away right now.
Sending this at 1 am so it is the first thing you see tomorrow. Strategic. Devoted. Slightly unhinged.
I put my phone down to sleep and picked it back up to say I love you. Okay now good night for real.

Short Funny Texts for Him

One line, zero effort, maximum grin.

You up. It is 2 pm. I just missed you.
Hi. You are cute. Bye.
Miss you. Fix it.
Thinking about you. Ew. Anyway.
You. Me. Food. Answer fast.
I need attention. You have ten minutes.
Your girlfriend is bored. This is a crisis.
Come over. Bring snacks. Bring you.
Saw a meme. Thought of you. It was dumb. Perfect match.
Reminder. You are mine. Cool. Bye.
I like you. Do not let it go to your head. Too late probably.
Status update. Still cute. Still yours.
Text me back or I start singing in voice notes.
You have been selected. The prize is me.
Missing you is my cardio.
Hey handsome. That is all. Return to your day.
My phone said I text you too much. My phone is fired.
Insert cute text here. I am tired. You get the idea.
You owe me a date. This is the invoice.
Be honest. You missed me first today.
I am about to nap. Guard my snacks emotionally.
Just wanted to be your favorite notification real quick.
Free hug voucher. Expires never.
Thinking of changing your contact name to My Problem.
Spoiler. I like you tomorrow too.
You plus me equals my whole plan actually.
Quick reminder that you won. The prize was me. Congratulations again.

The best funny texts are the ones that sound like you on your silliest day. Do not worry about being clever. He is not grading you. He is just happy his phone lit up with your name and something that made him laugh out loud in public.

Save this post so you always have one ready. The right dumb text at the right moment does more for a relationship than a hundred perfect ones, because it says I was thinking of you and I wanted to make your day lighter.

And when you want to switch from funny to sweet, try these good morning texts for him, these back to school paragraphs for your boyfriend, or these texts to make him feel appreciated.

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